DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN
HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A
STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL
VOTE FOR HIM.

American liberals, leftists, social
progressives, socialists, Marxists
and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late
1950's, but the whole of this latest
election process has made me realize that
I want a divorce..... I know we tolerated
each other for many years for the sake of
future generations, but sadly, this
relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America
cannot and will not ever agree on what is
right so let's just end it on friendly
terms. We can smile and chalk it up to
irreconcilable differences and go our own
way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the
country by landmass each taking a portion.
That will be the difficult part, but I am
sure our two sides can come to a
friendly agreement. After that, it should
be relatively easy! Our respective
representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such
distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you
can keep them. You are welcome to the
liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you
hate guns and war, we'll take our
firearms, the cops, the NRA and the
military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and
Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel
vehicle big enough to move all three of
them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy
corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have
your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies
and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot
Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and
rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give
you NBC and Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine
and we'll retain the right to invade and
hammer places that threaten us.. You can
have the peaceniks and war protesters.
When our allies or our way of life are
under assault, we'll help provide them
security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values...
You are welcome to Islam, Scientology,
Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also
have the U.N.. but we will no longer be
paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and
oversized luxury cars. You can take every
Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you
can find any practicing doctors. We'll
continue to believe healthcare is a luxury
and not a right. We'll keep The Battle
Hymn of the Republic and the National
Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to
substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the
World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the
World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and
you can give trickle up poverty your best
shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll
keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please
pass it along to other like minded liberal
and conservative patriots and if you do
not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit
of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer
which one of us will need whose help in 15
years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean
Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &
Jane Fonda with you..

P. P. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English.