Can an Old Dog Learn NEW Tricks

So much to learn and no teenagers in the house. I have been learning to post on Facebook and how to delete the mess that showed up. My Lady Robin says someday I might be able to catch on to this simple Facebook thing. So the other day it was new camera time for Robin to take super photos for our publications. To make my life easier I got two of them, so when she learns how to use hers, she can show me. I tried almost the same thing by getting her an I-Pad . . . just got one to see how she was able to work with it.  So far she has not been real happy with it and I am glad I only got one of them. I am happy I am still banging the keys on my MacBook Pro and to be honest, I am still learning new things on what this thing can do.

Time flies and things change, but one thing is certain, you have to keep learning new things just to be able to stay in the flow of life. Back when the Porcupine Press first started up, in 1989, we took pictures and either developed the film in our dark room or ran into the city to a one hour photo place. That first eight years we were publishing weekly, with a publication with about one fourth the number of pages per issue. Developing that film was not all that easy in our shack in the back with wood heat. In the cold winter Rodd Desjardins, now mayor of Munising, was then on our editorial staff, heated up the chemicals on top of a toaster in the dark room.  Those were the days.

Even today, it seems like we just learn how to appear smart with the software we have in the computer and they come out with something new and better. This puts us back in the learning stage again. The worst part, for me at least, is the more I learn, the more I discover that I don't know.

I think that the TSA has lost it's mind...

Dear Readers: I received this e-mail this morning . . .

As the Chalk Leader for my flight home from Afghanistan, I witnessed the following:

When we were on our way back from Afghanistan, we flew out of Baghram Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards. Our first stop was Shannon, Ireland to refuel. After that, we had to stop  at Indianapolis, Indiana to drop off about 100 folks from the Indiana National Guard. That's where the stupid started.

First, everyone was forced to get off the plane-even though the plane wasn't refueling again. All 330 people got off that plane, rather than let the 100 people from the ING get off. We were filed from the plane to a holding area. No vending machines, no means of escape. Only a male/female latrine.

It's probably important to mention that we were ALL carrying weapons. Everyone was carrying an M4 Carbine (rifle) and some, like me, were also carrying an M9 pistol. Oh, and our gunners had M-240B machine guns. Of course, the weapons weren't loaded. And we had been cleared of all ammo well before we even got to customs at Baghram, then AGAIN at customs.

The TSA personnel at the airport seriously considered making us unload all of the baggage from the SECURE cargo hold to have it reinspected. Keep in mind, this cargo had been unpacked, inspected piece by piece by U.S. Customs officials, resealed and had bomb-sniffing dogs give it a one-hour run through. After two hours of sitting in this holding area, the TSA decided not to reinspect our Cargo-just to inspect us again: Soldiers on the way home from war, who had already been inspected, reinspected and kept in a SECURE holding area for 2 hours. Ok, whatever. So we lined up to go through security AGAIN.

This is probably another good time to remind you all that all of us were carrying actual assault rifles, and some of us were also carrying pistols.

So we're in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier  that they're going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went something like this:

TSA Guy: You can't take those on the plane.

Soldier: What? I've had them since we left country.

TSA Guy: You're not suppose to have them.

Soldier: Why?

TSA Guy: They can be used as a weapon.

Soldier: [touches butt stock of the rifle] But this actually is a weapon. And I'm allowed to take it on.

TSA Guy: Yeah but you can't use it to take over the plane. You don't have bullets.

Soldier: And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?

TSA Guy: [awkward silence]

Me: Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get the f**k out of here. I'll buy you a new set.

Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security] To top it off, the tsa demanded we all be swabbed for "explosive residue" detection. Everyone failed, [go figure, we just came home from a war zone], because we tested positive for "Gun Powder Residue". Who the F**K is hiring these people?

This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233 people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine guns-but nothing that could have been used as a weapon.  Can someone please tell me What the F**K happened to OUR country while we were gone?

Sgt. Mad Dog Tracy

An e-mail from Afghanistan

A great surprise in my e-mail box this morning and I wanted to share with you . . . .

Howdy Neighbor!

I don't know if you heard or not, but I shipped off back in September for a tour of duty here in Afghanistan.  A sister unit to my Marquette unit was deploying and they were short a Platoon Leader so I volunteered and, well, here I am.

Today I happened to be gathering the incoming mail for my men and what in the world should I come across but the latest edition of your UP Magazine!!!  Ht off the press in beautiful uptown Chatham, MI U.S. of A.  One of my soldiers (Staff Sergeant Joseph Hattamer) apparently has a subscription with you.

I am the only Yooper in the platoon but most of the men are from the Wausau and Green Bay area of Wisconsin so they fully appreciate Yooperisms, eh.

All is well so far.  Our mission is to leave the wire every day and run missions where we look for IED's and other wicked things that go boom and the bad guys who place them.  Somewhat thankless work - but someone has to do it, so we may as well be the ones to step in and do it.

The soldiers I am with are true professionals and I am honored to serve alongside them.  I assure you, they do not disappoint and they earn their pay each day.

I hope all is well with you, Robin, and the whole crew at Porcupine Press.  Slip into the pub and have a beer for me!

I ask you to pray for my troops that they may be keen to their work and protected from physical, emotional, or spiritual harm until they step foot once again back in the United States.  Doing the hard, dirty work of national defense is never easy but these troops do it day in and day out with nerves of steel.

Blessings Mike.  I am sorry I didn't get to say goodbye before I left Chatham.  I'll be home as soon as this tour is over - I miss the Yoop and the nice quiet life we lead in Chatham.

Andy Reichert